Many parents help their children way too much and as parents, we tend to think we are doing the very best for them by being so considerate of their needs.
Many parents help their children way too much and as parents, we tend to think we are doing the very best for them by being so considerate of their needs.
However, the truth be told, it isn’t the best idea to help your kids too much especially when they reach the age of 10 plus.
Many children can help with tasks around the house but more importantly, they are able to do their own things which helps them become responsible. As they grow older, this helps them to be self-sufficient and confident about their skills.
The first thing you need to do is stop and think… Are you doing too much for your child? Are they able to do things for themselves or do they always rely upon mum and dad? You may not see the harm in your child needing you for every little thing but where does it end?
Now work out what your child can do for themselves. Think objectively and compile a list of tasks your child should be doing but most probably isn’t!
A ten-year-old should be able to do the following:
- Make their own bed
- Put rubbish in the bin
- Set the table and/or clear the table
- Empty their lunch box and wash it out
- Bring down their washing
- Help put away the dishes after dinner
- Play with their siblings while their parents are busy
- Tidy their room
- Help prepare dinner.
That isn’t to say they need to do everything on the list, but they should be able to fulfil some of these tasks. They must understand the importance of helping with family life and once everyone gets into a routine based on tasks it will make the teenager years much easier.
Teenagers are well able to do many tasks and here are some basic jobs for them to complete:
- Ironing
- Washing clothes
- Emptying the dishwasher
- Care for siblings
- Keep their room tidy
- Cook dinners and make their lunch each day
- Put out the bins
- Hoover/sweep
- Mop the floors
- Help with pets and feeding times
- Polish and clean furniture
- Gardening
- Clean the car
- Tidy up after dinner.
Again, this doesn’t mean your teenager should be doing this every day, but they must be responsible and respect everyone is busy to help the family. If you are a parent who is still cleaning your teenager's room and doing everything for them then you aren’t preparing them for adulthood.
The reality is, if your kids learn to do these things without your help they will become much more capable young adults. They may surprise you and do these things without you needing to nag if they are aware of the situation from a young age. Remember kids need to learn how to care for themselves and for others so they can provide for themselves in the future.
You will thank yourself lucky in the years to come when you have a self-sufficient young adult and one that doesn’t need to come home to get properly fed!
Emma Hayes is a thirty-something mum of two girls aged 16 and 10, planting her right into the teenage and tween-age years! Follow her on Twitter at @EmmaHayes25.