Arguing with your teenager is not unusual but sometimes things can be said that are hurtful and would have been better off left unsaid.

Moving on after a big argument is difficult as you or your teenager may hold a grudge and find it hard to reconnect after the many words you have said.

It’s understandable but as we know you can’t ignore each other forever and you do need to find a way to move forward and be on talking terms again.

Here are some tips on how to move on after a big argument with your teenager:

  1. Take some time and space.

    There is no point in tackling your teenager an hour after an argument and it may take hours or days but give it a significant amount of time to allow you both time to cool off.

    A good way to gauge this is to ask yourself are you ready to talk to your teen without losing it or are you still incredibly mad over everything. If you are still seeing steam coming out of your ears, it is probably best to leave it until later!

  2. Apologise if you need to.

    No judgement here but sometimes parents can say things too and say things that shouldn’t have been said. This takes a lot to admit but if you said something you need to be the adult and apologise.

    Your teenager can learn from you and they too, should apologise for things they have said but it could help you both move on after the argument if you reach out first. However, sometimes a parent has no reason to apologise and they should only have to apologise for getting angry. 

  3. Don’t fall into their childishness.

    Don’t do the whole ‘I’m not talking to you’ and this may be your way of coping with the argument, but it isn’t right. You should still talk to your teen and call them for dinner or ask about their homework – if they ignore you, that’s fine but show them that you are a responsible adult who is ready to move on and you won’t fall into their childish ways. 

  4. Try and understand their feelings.

    Arguments happen and understanding your teenager’s feelings is important, but it depends on what the argument was about. If your teen let themselves down, you may find it hard to understand and they may only be sorry for getting caught. In any case, we know all teenagers make mistakes and it is important that they learn from them, so it doesn’t happen again. 

  5. Move on together and don’t hold grudges.

    Try and break the bad air by asking your teenager to do something with you, go for a walk or get a cup of coffee. It may still hang in the air, but the grudge can only disappear when both of you start communicating again.

    Take time for each other and revisit the conversation or it may be that it is over now, and you need to move on. Only you know what is best but make sure you can move forward without looking back on it. Learn from it, but don’t let it ruin your relationship with your teenager. 

How do you move on after an argument?

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