After your baby arrives you might struggle with how to actually accept the help that is being offered to you from friends and family.
When your baby arrives you might be struggling with how to actually accept the help that is being offered to you from friends and family. Offers swarm in and you’ve been assured to “just ask” if you need anything but the problem is often the fact that you don’t really know what you need.
This is a time where every little really does help. Anything that lightens the load for you as you adjust to parenthood will have a profound effect on your mental and physical health.
Many people feel that company is exactly what you need but the reality can be quite different. When someone comes to visit you may feel a pressure to look or act a certain way even though that pressure is never the intention of the person visiting.
They want to make sure you don’t feel lonely at this overwhelming time when in fact their presence may overwhelm you even further.
Knowing how to accept the help you need is a bit of a skill and getting your head around it as early as possible (or even during pregnancy) will make a great difference.
Your Other Half
You might think that they should know how best to support and help you when the baby comes along but communicating things clearly is really key here. Sometimes emotional love and support are what will serve you during a difficult time and other times it will be upping their game in terms of housework and domestic responsibilities. Keep the line of communication honest, open and to the point, so you can establish a good dynamic here.
Your PHN
You might think that your Public Health Nurse is just there to monitor your baby’s health and well-being but they serve a really important purpose for your well-being too. If you are feeling overwhelmed and a low mood prevails it is really important to speak to your PHN as they can offer you advice and referrals for services that could really help.
Your Friends And Family
This is a tricky one because their natural tendency will be to visit and be around you a lot. What they do when they visit is where the problem lies. Do not be afraid to ask for help around the house or to ask them to bring dinner with them. You won’t be offending them and they will love the fact that they are doing something to help you. It is also important to make it clear when you do not want visitors.
Your Other Children
Depending on their ages this will be a great time of adjustment for other children in the house. You can help them know what to expect by picking up some books during your pregnancy that aim to help children adjust to a new baby. You can also pick up some special gifts from the baby to their older siblings as a special gesture for when the baby arrives. Expect routines to alter, treats to increase and remember that this is a real case of anything that helps them adjust will really help you too.
Yourself
Help yourself by not putting too much pressure on yourself when it comes to anything other than healing and caring for your baby. A huge part of this can be in simply asking for help as you need it. “Sleep when Baby is sleeping” is easier said than done when you have things to do around the house but over-doing it will come back to bite you in a number of ways.
More often than not the house-work can wait and it is important to be really kind to yourself at this incredibly vulnerable time. A nap or bath will serve you so much more than washing the floors!
