I don’t like to brag but I am halfway through the teen years with one child and now have found myself in the tween age with my second darling something that is making me fearful! My little girl skipped to bed one night before coming down one morning with the hint of nonchalance and irritability. At first, I thought she ate something funny and it would pass but here we are fifteen weeks later and quite frankly she is a first-class pain in the a*&! Don’t get me wrong I love her to bits, she is creative, kind and loving but right now I am seeing none of that except a self-centred and lazy little girl – except she isn’t very little anymore. Anyway, I am well prepared for this transformation, I have a 16-year-old after all and we lived this chaos before, but you forget and dare I say it you become full of unrealistic hope that this time it will be easier. To get through this I have had to have a good think about how to handle the tween before she sends her father to the GAA permanently to escape and before I lose my reading time as I try to wrestle devices off her. Here are some of my thoughts – you can thank me later!

Yes, you will need these for temper tantrums ahead and even better get some that are Bluetooth enabled and you can play that good happy music all day long. While your tween wails in the background you can happily sing along to “I’m Happy” and she/he will get bored eventually. Or so we would hope…

No, I don’t mean away, away but you know to send the little monster (sorry cherub) to Grandmas for a few days or anyone who is willing to take her/him. Keep a few details to yourself – you can’t sell an aggressive puppy for example, but chances are your kid will be a little star for Grandma or indeed, anyone but you. If this doesn’t work or Grandma isn’t interested there is always boarding school, but it is a shame they don’t take kids during the summer. Failing that I do have a backup idea and it includes a tent and a bit of imagination – my tween surprisingly loves it in there and it gets her out of my hair for a bit! 

My husband and I have it all figured out and we take turns in dealing with her because quite frankly we all end up arguing if everyone gets involved. Of course, she realises this as if anything I have raised a ridiculously smart but somewhat manipulating tween that watches in glee while mum and dad argue over why she is in trouble – again. 

We do it all the time! We make these silly rules and by god no sooner has the kid left the room, we are questioning ourselves. Last week we banned her from everything and it seemed like a good idea until there was nothing in her room anymore and we didn’t know where to put all the s*&t so it ended up in the hall and our bedroom. The fecking cleaning job that followed was not worth all the hassle. She didn’t care anyway as she saw this as a chance to de-clutter and took up sewing instead because we stupidly left the kit there as it hadn’t been used in years. She is still sewing today and has made five new outfits for her dolly out of one bath gown. Bloody tweens! 

Good luck with your tween!