Is there a time when sharing is not actually caring?
As parents, we’re all told that it is important we teach our children to share. Yes, it is an important value to instil in our kids, but is there a time when sharing is not really caring?
A mum sparked an interesting debate after she posted a story online about not making her son share his toys.
Under a post titled My Child Is Not Required To Share With Yours, the mum, who goes by the name ChoosingBeggars, recalled a time when her son, Carson, was playing in the playground.
While playing with his toys, the young boy was approached by six boys who demanded that he share his Minecraft figure and truck.
Recalling the incident, the mum explained that her son was “visibly overwhelmed” by their demands and “clutched the toys to his chest”.
Aware that her son was feeling intimidated, the mum told Carson that he could say no if he wanted to. That he didn’t have to share.
However, according to the post, the boys told on him which enlisted dirty looks from other parents at the playground.
Explaining the situation, the mum wrote: "As soon as we walked in the park, Carson was approached by at least 6 boys, all at once demanding that he share his transformer, Minecraft figure and truck.
"He was visibly overwhelmed and clutched them to his chest as the boys reached for them. He looked at me.
"You can tell them no, Carson. Just say no. You don't have to say anything else"
Continuing the story, the mum wrote that as soon as he said no, the boys ran to tattle to her that he was not sharing.
Rightly, she explained that "he doesn’t have to share with you. He said no. If he wants to share he will."
As the mum explains, an adult wouldn't be expected to share stuff with strangers - so why should a child?
Yes, teaching our kids to share is important. It helps them learn to work better in a team, to show compassion, to play cooperatively and also to be more appreciative of their items.
However, the mum is teaching her son another incredibly powerful lesson - that it is OK to say no.
That it is good to set boundaries and to “practice self-care”.
The bigger problem here is not that the mum told him he didn't want to share, but rather that the boys felt it OK to demand a toy off a child they don't even know, especially when he is clearly upset.
"The next time your snowflake runs to you upset that another child isn’t sharing, please remember that we don’t live in a world where it’s conducive to give up everything you have to anyone just because they said so. And I’m not going to teach my kid that that’s the way it works."
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation with your children?
Written by Mary Byrne, Content Executive at Family Friendly HQ. Follow her on Twitter: @marybyrne321