Deanne Carson, works for an organisation which teaches children about consent, and believes that children are never too young to learn about consent - once done in an age-appropriate way.

When we think of consent, we often think of it as being an adult subject but it's something that affects children too. Children may be asked to hug a relative and sometimes doing so makes them feel uncomfortable. We so often say “give Granny a kiss or she will be upset” unintentionally putting our little one in a very uncomfortable position.

Deanne shows children different ways to see how a person is feeling by their face or body language. She uses a teddy bear that likes to give hugs and asks each child if they would like one. The children that say no or simply shake their head are respected and the teddy only hugs the children that want to be hugged.

It seems like such a simple idea but evidently extremely effective. Often it is about the boundary being respected and the clear message of no, given verbally or physically also being respected. 

When two people enter into an interaction, one will generally hold greater power. This will be projected onto the other person who then feels less able to communicate non-consent clearly without fear of backlash.

The question that really needs to be addressed here is why we are perpetuating a culture that places the onus on the vulnerable person to say ‘no’, when really what we should be doing is asking our children to check in with people every time they want to instigate touch?

If they don’t hear a clear yes, they should be learning to back up, give the other person space and foster a situation where the person can more clearly articulate their needs.