We’ll call this a public service announcement. It’s a bit of advice for the coming months folks. This title may sound negative but let me assure you that everything printed here is absolute fact (according to this mother anyway) and it just might save you a few grey hairs.
We’ll call this a public service announcement. It’s a bit of advice for the coming months folks. This title may sound negative but let me assure you that everything printed here is absolute fact (according to this mother anyway) and it just might save you a few grey hairs.
It’s September and for a while now people have been slipping the C word in to conversations. Testing the waters like. As we approach October people are throwing it out there like it’s nobody’s business and I genuinely wonder if perhaps Halloween has been cancelled this year. Christmas, as it’s better known, has come even sooner this year.
I’ll admit it – I’ve thought about making a list but that’s as far as I’m going right now. It stresses me out that a quarter of the year is given to this stuff. The Demands, the money, the stress. Like don’t get me wrong I adore the Santa Visit, the cosy nights in and the hot chocolate but the stress of Christmas shopping is unlike no other. It’s a niche kind of stress.
I learnt my lesson last year and can categorically say that all Christmas shopping, this year, will occur without the company of children. It is a no kid zone and I am adamant about this. All gifts, cards and gift paper will be bought during late night shopping periods, pre-school hours or during the very rare occasion that my husband doesn’t notice that I’ve snook in to town on my own on a Saturday. Oh, I can see it now – not a present bought but a fancy festive coffee to gloat about on Instagram.
If you want to learn from my experience, join me on this one. Shopping with children is torture. Like actual legitimate torture. Blood pressure rising, actually dangerous for your health (and theirs) kind of stress. So just don’t do it.
If you need some convincing – this is why shopping with children is just not a fun time.
- EVERYTHING they see is the thing that they now want. It does not matter that you’ve explained one hundred times that Santa got their letter a month ago – they want it and they want it now.
- You don’t get the little coffee break. I’m sorry but it’s just a right of passage. Do a bit of shopping, take a rest and grab a coffee while your shopping bags take up enough space for three people. You need to sit back and admire your work before you go in for round two.
- If they’re holding your hand then you’re not holding enough shopping bags. That sounds awful but lets be practical here. Christmas shopping is the kind of shopping that genuinely leaves marks on your fingers. You need every single finger to make this work.
- If they are in a buggy you’re struggling to get down the aisles because the shopping bags have transformed your buggy in to some kind of spaceship. You’re wacking off people, knocking displays down and very nearly sending your child in to the air as the weight threatens to topple the buggy over (mother of the year, we know)
- They’re too hot, they’re too cold, they’re hungry and they have the audacity to require regular toilet trips. The reality is they need you and you need to get the bloomin’ Christmas shopping done.
- Right, glad we had that chat.
Disclaimer – Tracey adores her child more than life itself so all comments above remain stand-alone and Christmas Shopping specific. She regrets nothing.
