Teenagers have it easy huh? Every or at least, most parents say their teenagers have it easy. I too would say this probably a little too often but then, I got thinking and had a good chat with my teenager. I also did some research on teenagers and how their brains work which in case you didn’t know is not at all like adult brains.
Teenagers have it easy huh? Every or at least, most parents say their teenagers have it easy. I too would say this probably a little too often but then, I got thinking and had a good chat with my teenager. I also did some research on teenagers and how their brains work which in case you didn’t know is not at all like adult brains.
When I say I chatted to my daughter, I mean, I really delved into her daily life and asked more about the world she lives in. It made for extremely interesting viewpoints I probably wasn’t aware of. Yes, my daughter is 16 and she does annoy me at times for being slightly lazy and somewhat disorganised but what I didn’t necessarily see was her abilities. Parents tend to notice the negatives and ignore the positives – something I want to change in my parenting to better understand my children.
Here are some of the things that came up:
- We don’t have it easy in school. You see, don’t we all assume they are chilling in class and how hard can it be? Well, hard enough. My daughter said many classes are hardcore and they need a good attention span to follow. Furthermore, she identified the difficulties in having teachers who you may not get along with. This adds stress to their day and not forgetting the worry of keeping up with a class you may not excel in.
- The pressure of fitting in. My daughter stressed that fitting in is never easy no matter what type of teenage personality you have and how the worry is continuous as classes change and pupils get mixed around. Sometimes this leads to classmates disengaging from their pals and while they may see each other at break or lunch it is hard to have the same relationship as they haven’t experienced the same class lessons.
- Early mornings and late nights. Teenagers need to get up early yet, they can’t sleep at night so therefore, they are sleep deprived most of the time. And this isn’t something to be ignored as science tells us that teenagers perform better later in the day and respond better. Their brains are engaged at bedtime leading to late nights and early mornings which of course, leads to bad moods.
- At a time when mental health is a huge problem, my daughter tells me it is something that is never far from students’ minds. Her recent Junior Cert results gave her an inside scope with the coping mechanisms of young people and though many students were relaxed others were stressed and anxious in case of failure. Failure is always on students minds when everything academically is praised in the papers yet, students with other talents and skills are not on the front pages. Fair point, I think.
- Most teenagers are doing something in the evenings and this is encouraged but it does cause extra worry, as teenagers try and juggle school, study and activities. My daughter says they feel like they should have more time but when you are studying it is school for 8 hours followed by 4 hours of studying – something no one bats an eyelid at, but for students, this is an exhausting experience. Not unlike adults, juggling home with study and life, life as a teenager isn’t as simple as I thought.
- Freedom fights. Every parent has the usual argument with their teenager regarding their freedom and this is normal, but my daughter is more philosophical and says that parents don’t seem to get that teenagers need to relax and they do so with their friends. They need to escape the family and have fun. They don’t mean to ignore their family life, but they will take an evening with their friends over a family dinner.
- Teenagers do think about things. My daughter says no one wants to fail or do wrong things but they are learning and will make mistakes.
I guess we could say we make mistakes too as adults so how about we give teenagers a pat on the back sometimes as they aren’t nearly as bad as they are sometimes made out to be.
Written by Emma Hayes staff writer at FFHQ who also blogs at www.emmamadjotters.com.