When it comes to choosing the way you wish to parent there are a lot of factors to consider. Many parents mimic the way their own parents did things as that is what feels natural. In stark contrast, a lot of people will want to do the very opposite due to a variety of personal reasons.

Practicalities also play a big part and often work commitments and location can have a big impact on the way you parent your children. Many people discover the area of attachment parenting during pregnancy and it feels right to them. Others will fall into it by accident as it was simply the way things happened naturally.

Whatever your style people will always advise you to “do what is right for your family” and that once you and your children are happy that is all that matters. That is true in many ways but what about those people in your life who simply need to know the way you do things. Babysitters? Crèche workers? Friends and family? The people who are around your children a lot or who are responsible for caring for them sometimes really ought to know the way you do things. It may not be the way they do things after all.

Here are some tips which might help you explain your parenting style to the people in your life that do need to know.

1. Let’s be practical. The ways in which your parenting style affects practical parts of the day is a good place to start. When it comes to childminders or grandparents this may affect the way in which they sleep or feed for example. Your child may not like to go to sleep on their own and may need some help or a cuddle for example.

2. Discipline matters. In a perfect world, discipline would only concern the parents of a child but when they are in the company of others or being taken care of by another person it is important that everyone feels comfortable. Talk about the way in which you approach discipline as it may be different from that which feels natural to other people. It’s important to you and it’s therefore important to be clear about it from as early as possible, especially when someone will be taking care of your children.

3. You may have already heard something that makes you feel uncomfortable. For example the use of bad language around your kids or conversations of an adult nature. It is important to raise this as soon as it happens to nip it in the bud as these things will affect your children and the trust you have towards those around them. It can be a good leaping point to further discuss how you do things.

4. When a family member or child-minder want to understand on a deeper level you could recommend some good books, websites or blog posts that explore your style of parenting.

5. Thank them for taking the time to listen to how you do things. If they are willing to work with you and have an open mind it says a lot about how they respect you and your children.