Recently, while enjoying a treatment at my local beauticians, my therapist opened up about the fact that she had almost become a step-mum but found it too hard and walked away from the relationship. 
 
As she continued to chat, the therapist said that she herself had both a step-mum and a step-dad. She was close with her father and had two half-brothers.

I asked about her relationship with her half-siblings and her parents (all four of them) but, sadly, it turns out that her step-mother made her father choose between them both.
 
I was so shocked.

I tried to find the reasoning behind it because I could never imagine doing that myself.

Had she done something to prompt such a demand from her stepmother? The answer was no and so between us we tried to understand the reasoning.

At the time, her stepmother had just had another baby so perhaps, like her, had felt that she could not cope with being a stepmother any longer.
 
She was 11-years-old when her father told her that she could no longer come to stay and so from then on their relationship deteriorated.

I asked her if now that she is an adult would she speak to her father and her stepmother to try and find out what happened?

I would imagine (and certainly like to hope) that her father at least has regret. She was unsure and worried about further rejection. 
 
Also, she has two half-siblings and perhaps more out in the world that she does not know.

Apparently, she was close to both her half brothers and missed that relationship when she stopped visiting. By the end of my treatment, she said, if only for her own peace of mind, that she would make contact.
 
In my own life, my younger stepdaughter and my son are as close as siblings can be and have been from day one.

I could not imagine breaking up that relationship and having them miss out on each other.

The emotional impact that would have on each of them would be devastating, as would be the emotional impact that it would then have on my husband and me individually and as a couple. 
 
I will happily share more ‘food for thought’ on step-parenting and the challenges faced throughout in my blog. If anyone would like to get in touch please do so via my email [email protected]
 

Written by Kathryn Maile. Originally from Ireland, Kathryn moved to London over 20 years ago and worked in the Finance Industry in the City. She became a stepmum in 2006 to three lovely children and became a mum to a wonderful son in 2012. The children adore each other which is just wonderful to see and experience. Read more on mystepmumandme.co.uk