Pregnancy Diary Week 14

Dear Diary

I've just hit the fourteen-week mark and I can't stop obsessing over feeling movement. I know it's so unlikely to feel anything at this stage but every single pop or gurgle makes me gasp in anticipation. Alas, it's probably just wind. I probably won't feel anything for another couple of weeks. It seems to be somewhere between sixteen and twenty-two weeks for most people.

The thing is, I remember when I started to feel movement on my first pregnancy I looked back and realized that the little flutters that I had felt a week or two previously were, in fact, the beginning of it all. You could nearly miss them. Little butterflies, almost like your tummy is flipping and feeling a little nervous or something. Google tells me they're called "quickenings" and so far, no quickenings here.

I've got an appointment this week with the "head guy" in my maternity hospital. He's the head guy when it comes to all things Cervical/Ovarian Cancer which is a bit scary. Scrap that, it's terrifying. I've been googling his name and he's a pretty big deal so I feel lucky to be meeting with him but naturally, I would prefer if I didn't need to. It's all just precautionary, I know that but it just feels so serious and the opposite of how I want to feel about being pregnant.

I had blood tests done a week or two ago and no news seems to be good news in that department. They were testing for some kind of Cancer marker that can indicate that there is a problem. The doctor told me I'd hear something if they were worried. My appointment with this consultant is this week and I'm feeling incredibly nervous. I just don't know what he's going to say. By then I'll have had a pelvic ultrasound and he will have a better idea of how things look with the Ovarian cyst.

Anyway, back to me and the baby. Other than the feeling of impending doom regarding the cyst, I feel pretty good physically. That's the thing – I've no pain or symptoms and without that early scan I wouldn't even know about the cyst. I feel good though. The first trimester was an absolute write-off when it came to food and activity so I'm really trying to fill myself with good food wherever I can. I'm back enjoying healthier snacks and am trying to eat lots of fruit, vegetables, whole-grains and food rich in iron.

I'm loosely following the Slimming World pregnancy plan. I actually run my own Slimming World groups so I've seen first hand how healthy the plan is. I really don't want to have a huge amount of weight to lose after the baby comes. I know it's inevitable and essential to gain weight but I want to be as healthy as possible. It's totally different this time around because I'm five stone lighter in this pregnancy, so it literally feels like I'm walking around in a different body.

I bought my very first baby "thing" this week. That felt really special. Just walking into a shop, browsing the baby section and not being afraid that anyone would wonder if I was secretly pregnant. It's out there now so I plan to enjoy these things. I picked up some neutral baby grows and long-sleeved vests and as it turns out, I've completely lost sight of just how tiny babies are.

Oh my Lord, they are so teeny tiny – it actually brought a tear to my eye. I'm remembering all the little things I've forgotten such as the fact that they will have to be pre-washed in non-bio detergent before I put them in my hospital bag. You really forget these things. I can't wait to smell that gorgeous smell in my home as the clothes dry. It's the little things, right?

My little man is talking about the baby quite a lot. Hearing him telling random people that "my mammy has a baby" is really good for the soul!

As for the bump? Still pretty bloated but I can feel things firming up under my skin. Any day now, I'll be rocking a rounder tummy. I can't wait!