Pregnancy Diary Week 15

Dear Diary

So following an appointment with the "head guy" in my maternity hospital, I was sent for an MRI on the Ovarian cyst this week. That's taken up a huge amount of my headspace, which is of no great surprise I suppose. Funnily enough, I wasn't actually feeling very nervous about it. I think I've spent so many weeks wondering and worrying that anything that points us in the direction of answers is a good thing in my mind. I've definitely had moments where my mind has wandered though.

The appointment with the consultant went well. It was pretty short and sweet and I was really glad to have my husband with me. I actually knew the consultant's liaison nurse which is so typical of me – my husband was eye-rolling at the fact that I seem to know everyone but it really is such a small world. I actually found it comforting to see her. I was waiting for Peter to get to the hospital after work and just seeing a familiar face in the waiting room was a sense of reassurance. She told me a bit about what to expect from the appointment and predicted that an MRI might be on the cards, so it was good to have that in my head going in.

There was no physical examination at the appointment. More of a chat really. He talked about the size of the cyst and the fact that most of the time these cysts are not harmful and are actually a result of the pregnancy. He drew some diagrams and explained things to us as best he could. He said the fact that the recent pelvic scan described it as "slightly complex" was a good thing and commented on the fact that the person who looked at my scan and made that comment, was an esteemed trusted colleague of his. Again, really reassuring.

He told us that he felt it wasn't anything sinister but to rule it out even further, an MRI would be the next step. I'd soon hear from St. James Hospital regarding an MRI date. I definitely felt a weight lifted after that appointment. I cried afterwards but more-so out of relief. It gave me another string of positivity to hold on to and I felt like we were nearing a point where I could just focus on the baby and not the cyst, which has overshadowed so much of this pregnancy already.

A couple of days later I was in St. James Hospital having my MRI. My mam came with me which was really nice. They had it on my file, but I was told to remind them that I was pregnant a couple of times. I wasn't to be injected with any dyes etc and I was reassured that an MRI, if necessary, is fine during pregnancy.

I didn't find the actual MRI too bad, to be honest. The only thing I will say is that the noise is kind of unbelievable. They give you earphones with music but they tell you it will still feel like you're standing beside a busy building site. It's a good description actually. It's thirty minutes of insanely loud noises and beeps.

Keeping still is probably the hardest part for a lot of people but for me, it was keeping quiet - keeping my thoughts quiet that is. Lying in an MRI scanning machine for thirty minutes is enough time to let your brain wander off to many, many places. One minute I was imagining the worst and guessing what they might be discussing as they scanned me and the next I was holding my beautiful newborn. For the first time ever I felt like I could almost smell them.

I'm ready to put this cyst stuff to bed now. Really, I am. I'm ready to just be pregnant and I'm resenting the fact that I'll probably be halfway through my pregnancy before it feels that way. My team will have the results of my MRI next week – and so the countdown begins.